The Sports Idiot

Here once again to lighten The Idiot’s load (and to give my internet searches of boobies a purpose) is your favorite, because I’m the only one, guest poster. I am kind of beat after staying up watching the Canes beat the Bruins in overtime last night, and drinking copious amounts of bourbon while doing so, and thusly I am going to jump right on in.  Hit the jump for Friday Content. Continue reading ‘Guess who’s back…’

Detroit Tigers catcher/three bagger Brandon Inge has landed on the Prior List. What’s wrong with him, you ask? Well, apparently he aggravated an already strained oblique muscle. He’s been banged up for over three weeks with this nagging injury, and now it’s worse because he *ahem* hurt it while “pushing a pillow down behind his three year old son’s head.” The more disturbing thing is that dude has a three year old son sleeping in the bed with him and the Mrs. I’m not a father yet, and I’m sure that is more common than I would think it is, but isn’t three a little bit old to be in the bed on a regular basis? I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

There should be zero fantasy impact as Inge should not be on anyone’s squad anyway.

And no, I couldn’t connect Inge to Alyssa Milano. At Pat’s request, new picture up after the jump.

Continue reading ‘Brandon Inge pillow fights his way to the Prior List’

I don’t know how this was missed, but Maxim has put out it’s top 100 list of women who none of us will ever get to meet. Well, none of you, anyway. Last month we went over the FHM list, so in an attempt to be like Fox News (Fair and Balanced, you know) it is our duty to report on the Maxim list as well.

Hit the jump for the list. Continue reading ‘SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE, MAXIM POLL’

It’s time once again to check in on our favorite second baseman. Well, he is our favorite Astro? No? Okay, he’s our favorite Astro who plays second base. Kaz Matsui has had a few tough outings, but also had some nice ones lately. In his last two games, he is 0/7 but has drawn three bases on balls, and stolen two bases. On the season he is only batting .257, but he has scored 16 times in only 19 games, and also has six stolen bases so far. Factor in his nine walks, and his OBP jumps up to .333. Not too bad, but not great either. Kaz will help you in a few areas, but will kill you in a few as well. Tread lightly, my friends, and target the statistics that you need. If you can spare the bad average and OPS, then scoop him up.

Your other update after the jump. Continue reading ‘Checking in on Kaz Matsui (just go to the jump)’

File this one in the guys will want to know about this but it has nothing to do with sports whatsoever. Your new sexiest woman in the world after the jump. Continue reading ‘SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE, FHM POLL’

It appears that Kaz Matsui has fully recovered from his anal fissure, and is beginning to tear it up for the Astros. He has only played in five games so far this season, but has already crossed the plate seven times and stolen two bases. If you have a roster spot, he would be a good add at this point if you need runs, stolen bases and a bump in batting average.

Your other update after the jump… Continue reading ‘Kaz Matsui Update (you know it)’

In my ongoing effort to keep you informed about Kaz Matsui’s anal region, I figured it’s time to update you on his playing status. He had a slight setback due to tightness in his back, but has been cleared to make his next rehab start for AAA Round Rock. The Astros hope that he will be able to rejoin his Major League teammates for this weekend’s series against the Rockies.

Your Alyssa Milano update after the jump. Continue reading ‘Kaz Matusi Update (Alyssa Milano Too)’

Earlier in the week we learned that Kaz Matsui was having some slight issues with his “lower back”. Well, according to MLB.com it’s gotten worse for the guy, and he’s going under the knife. This entire thing is somewhat puzzling, but only because of the timing of everything. Apparently Matsui was originally scheduled to go under the knife this coming Thursday, but Matsui asked it to be moved up to Monday. Recovery time is alleged to be about two weeks, with the second week being “rehab” of sorts.

The puzzling thing, to me, is why they haven’t already cut him. He’s been out a week already, and now will miss two more. Three weeks of Spring training just went right out the window, or to make an intentionally bad pun, they went right into the, um, yeah. If it were up to the Astros, though, Kaz would have been out over four weeks. Kaz, stop listening to the Astros, they aren’t making sense. Go directly to the doctor and get this thing behind you. Matsui is coming off his best year since coming to the US, and should be owned in all fantasy leagues. It would be a shame to see this injury derail his year. Seeing as he is a speed guy, I’m just a little concerned about his stolen base value at the moment.

Your Allysa Milano update after the jump…

Continue reading ‘Kaz Matsui Update [Alyssa Milano update too (updated)]‘

This is exactly why hockey has the injury reports correct. There is no need for anyone to know this:

Kaz Matsui will miss four to five days with an anal fissure.

That’s an unnatural tear or crack in the anus skin, for those of you not in the know. Matsui is expected to be out until at least Friday. Anal fissures can become chronic problems, but the Astros hope using a different medication will sooth Matsui’s issue.